Bill Gates Dies in a Car Accident: Difference between revisions

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Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in Purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.
Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in Purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.


"Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows95.  I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."
''Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows95.  I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go.''


Bill replied, "Well, what's the difference between the two?"
Bill replied, ''Well, what's the difference between the two?''


St. Peter said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision."
St. Peter said, ''I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.''


"Fine, but where should I go first?"
''Fine, but where should I go first?''


I'll leave that up to you."
''I'll leave that up to you.''


"OK then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first."
''OK then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first.''


So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature was perfect. He was very pleased.
So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature was perfect. He was very pleased.


"This is great!" he told St. Peter. "If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!"
''This is great!'' he told St. Peter. ''If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!''


"Fine," said St. Peter, and off they went.
''Fine,'' said St. Peter, and off they went.


Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.  
Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell.  
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.
Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.


"Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell," he told St. Peter.
''Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell,'' he told St. Peter.


"Fine," retorted St. Peter, "as you desire."
''Fine,'' retorted St. Peter, ''as you desire.''


So Bill Gates went to Hell.  Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.  When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.
So Bill Gates went to Hell.  Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell.  When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.


"How's everything going?" he asked Bill.
''How's everything going?'' he asked Bill.


Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, "This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago!  I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!"
Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, ''This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago!  I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!''


"That was a demo," replied St. Peter.
''That was a demo,'' replied St. Peter.




[[Category:Humor]]
[[Category:Humor]]

Latest revision as of 16:20, 25 March 2019

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in Purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter.

Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go.

Bill replied, Well, what's the difference between the two?

St. Peter said, I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly, if it will help your decision.

Fine, but where should I go first?

I'll leave that up to you.

OK then," said Bill, "let's try Hell first.

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of bikini-clad women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature was perfect. He was very pleased.

This is great! he told St. Peter. If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!

Fine, said St. Peter, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

Hmmm. I think I'd prefer Hell, he told St. Peter.

Fine, retorted St. Peter, as you desire.

So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, St. Peter decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and tortured by demons.

How's everything going? he asked Bill.

Bill responded, with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can't believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beautiful beaches, the scantily-clad women playing in the water?!

That was a demo, replied St. Peter.